(5 minutes reading time)

June may only be a halfway point in our calendar, but it is often a time for endings. For some, June marks the end of the school year, or the conclusion of a long career. In our family, we said goodbye to two different schools today as my sons move on to new schools next year. It is bittersweet to make a change and to leave behind the familiar for an uncharted path. Yet there is value in finishing well, and, as with a good joke, timing is important to achieving a strong ending.

It is never easy to let go of the familiar to embrace an uncertain future. When I was considering a shift from law into mediation, I spent many months considering my next move, shying away from the difficult decision to say goodbye to my firm and colleagues, who were more like family than coworkers. However, the change has given me an opportunity to pursue a new direction in my career and to grow my skills in conflict resolution and workplace dynamics.

There is no “right” time to leave. As with a great performance or a thrilling book, sometimes we are not ready for the end. We believe that the right time to say goodbye is when we are emotionally ready. In fact, the right time can often be before you are emotionally settled on the decision to make a change. It is scary and difficult, but often the “right” time feels premature. Waiting for everything to line up perfectly before making a move can paralyze us and prevent any change from occurring at all. Worse, waiting too long can take the decision-making power out of our hands and place it in someone else’s.

In mediation, it can feel unsatisfactory to choose a settlement and let go of our arguments, or the prospect of vindication in court. Ending a lawsuit before we are completely ready to do so can be a good decision for many reasons, but it is still difficult. Settlement often feels like a second rate outcome because we are not always emotionally ready to let the case (or the person on the other side) go. However, if we operate on the principle that a good ending always comes too soon, we learn to accept the discomfort that comes with letting go before we are completely ready. By doing so, we keep control over the outcome in our own hands, rather than waiting for a third party to dictate the ending for us.

Good endings always come with some struggle. They are just as much the product of toil and hard work as any good beginning. And every ending is also a beginning - a new school, a new career, a new outlook. Change is hard and accepting the end of something is always painful. Yet we do well to choose for ourselves the how, the when, and the why of an ending, if we are to look back with satisfaction on the turns we have taken.